Yesterday, I was walking to my apartment after picking up groceries in the morning. I hear a door hurridly open and my next door neighbor runs out. "Hi... Are you coming back from the pool? I'm going to Vegas this weekend - want to get a drink sometime or something?"
"Ummmmm... yeah. sure." and I run away from awkwardness and into my apartment.
Tonight, as I was coming home from yet another mediocre date, I decide to relay the story to my doorman.
"Oh, you mean, "the dwarf"? he asks me.
"Yeah, I think we're talking about the same person." (although technically dwarves are < 4'10" and this dude was probably 5'9"... )
Well, here are some salient facts about my next door neighbor that my doorman and I obtained from GOOGLE:
*In 2010, he was arrested and served two months in jail with a suspended sentence for stalking and verbally harassing a judge, placing "alarming" calls to the judge and his family members
*Apparently his "time off this summer" was a result of a large, prestigious financial services firm not liking the fact that he was incarcerated
*He made an average of $900K for each of the last five years
*Marshalls have shown up to my building to arrest him more than once
*He has been divorced two times (and counting....)
*He filed for divorce several months before telling his wife so he could pay her lower alimony payments per their prenuptial agreement
*Has sent messasges to several people saying "I can S my own D and have. True Story."
The lesson as always: Deadbolts are key. Doormen are wise. Google can be quite revealing. Be careful out there!! People are SCARY.
