Lest you think I have been slacking on my real job (going on horrible dates for your amusement), I have NOT, but I have been slacking on writing about them. In short, in the last two months, I've been out with four different and new frogs and well, here's a brief summary:
*Frog #1 (2 dates): MIT-grad working at a start-up company, area code: 609. We went to City Bar and Piattini (decent selections). He actually made me feel physically threatened twice by shoving his tongue down my throat once and continually grabbing me. EPIC FAIL.
*Frog #2 (2 dates): Harvard grad working at a start up company, area code: 508. On our first date, we went to Sister Sorel and actually had a pretty good time, although I realize in hindsight, I thought we had a good time, but really I was just highly amused by my new insta-gay friends I met at the bar. He then asked me to go to a concert and very nicely left two gift-wrapped CDs of the band with my doorman so I could listen to the band prior to the concert. Unfortunately, he picked me up at 5pm to go to a concert at House of Blues... 6 hours of angsty white people music/"music" that is indistinguishable from feedback/no dinner/standing with no seats later, I wanted to die. Incapable of reading my subtle cues of pain and anguish, he then sent me several unanswered texts asking to go out again. K & I subsequently ran into him at Capital Grille where she proceeded to stand in front of him and stare which was not awkward at all. NICE GUY, NOT THE ONE.
*Frog #3 (1 date): Radiologist, area code: 608. I had semi-decent hopes for Frog #3, he seemed to have a decent sense of humor and shared my love of Bill Simmons.... however, when I met him in real life for dinner at Sorellina, I wondered if it was possible to be more bored. Sigh. He sent me an email asking to meet up again, and I (oops) haven't written back SUPER NICE GUY, REAL BORING.
*Frog #4 (1 date): Cardiologist, area code: 607. I knew we were off to a rocky start when he made me leave the city of Boston to meet him in a place called Brookline. "Brooklyn?" I asked. No, sadly. He seemed kind of judgemental, sort of racist and more feminine than I am. Hmmmmmm.... SIGH.
As I reflected on the past couple of months of terrible dates, I wondered, "am I being too picky here?" After all, for the most part, these guys seemed genuine, nice, successful, highly intelligent and fairly attractive. Should I talk myself into liking one of them? But I kept remembering that after each date ended, I had this feeling of "oh, I hope he doesn't ever contact me again."
Then, I watched the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother, one of my favorite tv shows. The main character is trying to decide between two women to take to an event and eventually realizes that he doesn't actually like either one...that he wanted to be a crazy in love idiot... and that you don't need to talk yourself into being with someone or take days to choose, it either works (which is obvious fairly quickly) or it doesn't and that he'd forgotten that.
Although I don't think I should pattern my life after a television show, I think that there is complete truth to his observation. We all know when we've truly been "crazy about"/interested in someone and the many, many times we've talked ourselves into second dates, good on paper or even entire relationships. Yesterday, I was waiting for the T/underground railroad and ran into an ex-boyfriend from my past and realized that it is true. I had probably talked myself into an entire yearlong relationship with someone that I didn't have genuine chemistry with/wasn't really into just because I wanted to have a boyfriend and wanted the "sort of happily ever" ending he promised. Needless to say, that encounter was awkward and semi-stalkerish (from his end). But, I guess if this experience has taught me anything, it's that I'll know it when I see it and hopefully will meet it/him soon b/c being a crazy in love idiot is pretty fun too!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Doormen = the new barmen = wisdom/A Cautionary Tale
Yesterday, I was walking to my apartment after picking up groceries in the morning. I hear a door hurridly open and my next door neighbor runs out. "Hi... Are you coming back from the pool? I'm going to Vegas this weekend - want to get a drink sometime or something?"
"Ummmmm... yeah. sure." and I run away from awkwardness and into my apartment.
Tonight, as I was coming home from yet another mediocre date, I decide to relay the story to my doorman.
"Oh, you mean, "the dwarf"? he asks me.
"Yeah, I think we're talking about the same person." (although technically dwarves are < 4'10" and this dude was probably 5'9"... )
Well, here are some salient facts about my next door neighbor that my doorman and I obtained from GOOGLE:
*In 2010, he was arrested and served two months in jail with a suspended sentence for stalking and verbally harassing a judge, placing "alarming" calls to the judge and his family members
*Apparently his "time off this summer" was a result of a large, prestigious financial services firm not liking the fact that he was incarcerated
*He made an average of $900K for each of the last five years
*Marshalls have shown up to my building to arrest him more than once
*He has been divorced two times (and counting....)
*He filed for divorce several months before telling his wife so he could pay her lower alimony payments per their prenuptial agreement
*Has sent messasges to several people saying "I can S my own D and have. True Story."
The lesson as always: Deadbolts are key. Doormen are wise. Google can be quite revealing. Be careful out there!! People are SCARY.
"Ummmmm... yeah. sure." and I run away from awkwardness and into my apartment.
Tonight, as I was coming home from yet another mediocre date, I decide to relay the story to my doorman.
"Oh, you mean, "the dwarf"? he asks me.
"Yeah, I think we're talking about the same person." (although technically dwarves are < 4'10" and this dude was probably 5'9"... )
Well, here are some salient facts about my next door neighbor that my doorman and I obtained from GOOGLE:
*In 2010, he was arrested and served two months in jail with a suspended sentence for stalking and verbally harassing a judge, placing "alarming" calls to the judge and his family members
*Apparently his "time off this summer" was a result of a large, prestigious financial services firm not liking the fact that he was incarcerated
*He made an average of $900K for each of the last five years
*Marshalls have shown up to my building to arrest him more than once
*He has been divorced two times (and counting....)
*He filed for divorce several months before telling his wife so he could pay her lower alimony payments per their prenuptial agreement
*Has sent messasges to several people saying "I can S my own D and have. True Story."
The lesson as always: Deadbolts are key. Doormen are wise. Google can be quite revealing. Be careful out there!! People are SCARY.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Chop Suey!
In the past two weeks, I have had two wildly different experiences at Asian restaurants in Boston: one authentic and one fusion. The first one began as B and I started our quest for the best BROWN (aka peking duck) in Boston. He googled "best brown boston" and a restaurant called King Fung Garden was revealed. We quickly cross-referenced the search result with YELP and saw comments like "best hole in the wall in Chinatown"... even further piquing our interest, we saw on the restaurant's website that you had to order BROWN 24 hours in advance... I mean, the preparation and deliciousness that implied... just epic. We made a reservation for 3 two Saturdays ago and brought along our perennial good sport and fellow foodie, DrS.
As we drove up to the restaurant, trepidation began to mount as the restaurant looked to be half the size of my apartment and was adjacent to a massage parlor providing happy endings. We walked inside and saw that there were only five tables held together by masking tape, two of which were filled with the loudest, trashiest, 22 year olds that I have almost come to blows with over their obnoxiousness. The restaurant was BYOB - so I brought a classy bottle of pinot noir, while B brought 1/4 of a bottle of Johnny Walker Black - not only was the restaurant BYOB, but apparently there was no ice, tap water or real cups as well... hmmm.
We ordered scallion pancakes, dumplings, a pork dish that was recommended by our waiter and, of course, the three course duck. The scallion pancakes were amazing and so was the pork dish; however, the dumplings were mediocre at best. Then, our peking duck arrived. Crisp skin and tender meat, scallions, cucumbers, hoisin sauce and pancakes... mmmm.... magical. After we'd scarfed down all of that food, S asked for the check. "Oh wait," our waiter replied. "There are two more courses of Brown." Well, lo and behold, a duck stirfry dish arried that was strikingly, suspiciously similar to the pork dish, followed by a nice duck soup.
Even though the other clientele and decor left something to be desired, the food was great and the service was attentive. I would give King Fung Garden 7 out of 10 stars.
As the three of us were walking home, we stopped for a drink at Mistral and I mentioned that there was a restaurant that I'd walked by in the area that looked interesting called Red Lantern. B stepped out for a smoke and reported back that behind Mistral and down a shady alley, he had seen a sign for Red Lantern. We left Mistral and discovered a magical Back Bay alley that none of us had ever seen before. A Mexican restaurant, Zocalo, with an outdoor patio full of people drinking margaritas and a trendy Asian fusion restaurant named Red Lantern. Sheer madness that three such hard-core back bay dwellers as ourselves had never even heard of these places!
So, fast forward a week, my friend R and I decided to check out Red Lantern. I stepped inside and looked around: the decor was spectacular and very cool in NYC/Las Vegas/Tao sort of way. Although the crowd at the bar looked suspiciously reminiscent of Post 390, the drink list was amazing. Oh scorpion bowls, how I love thee. R and I ended up sitting at the bar in front of the kitchen and ordered hot and sour soup and singapore street noodles... which were both excellent. Probably the soup was slightly better on the margin than the noodles, but a great meal nonetheless. I would give Red Lantern 8 out of 10 stars and promise to be back soon!
As we drove up to the restaurant, trepidation began to mount as the restaurant looked to be half the size of my apartment and was adjacent to a massage parlor providing happy endings. We walked inside and saw that there were only five tables held together by masking tape, two of which were filled with the loudest, trashiest, 22 year olds that I have almost come to blows with over their obnoxiousness. The restaurant was BYOB - so I brought a classy bottle of pinot noir, while B brought 1/4 of a bottle of Johnny Walker Black - not only was the restaurant BYOB, but apparently there was no ice, tap water or real cups as well... hmmm.
We ordered scallion pancakes, dumplings, a pork dish that was recommended by our waiter and, of course, the three course duck. The scallion pancakes were amazing and so was the pork dish; however, the dumplings were mediocre at best. Then, our peking duck arrived. Crisp skin and tender meat, scallions, cucumbers, hoisin sauce and pancakes... mmmm.... magical. After we'd scarfed down all of that food, S asked for the check. "Oh wait," our waiter replied. "There are two more courses of Brown." Well, lo and behold, a duck stirfry dish arried that was strikingly, suspiciously similar to the pork dish, followed by a nice duck soup.
Even though the other clientele and decor left something to be desired, the food was great and the service was attentive. I would give King Fung Garden 7 out of 10 stars.
As the three of us were walking home, we stopped for a drink at Mistral and I mentioned that there was a restaurant that I'd walked by in the area that looked interesting called Red Lantern. B stepped out for a smoke and reported back that behind Mistral and down a shady alley, he had seen a sign for Red Lantern. We left Mistral and discovered a magical Back Bay alley that none of us had ever seen before. A Mexican restaurant, Zocalo, with an outdoor patio full of people drinking margaritas and a trendy Asian fusion restaurant named Red Lantern. Sheer madness that three such hard-core back bay dwellers as ourselves had never even heard of these places!
So, fast forward a week, my friend R and I decided to check out Red Lantern. I stepped inside and looked around: the decor was spectacular and very cool in NYC/Las Vegas/Tao sort of way. Although the crowd at the bar looked suspiciously reminiscent of Post 390, the drink list was amazing. Oh scorpion bowls, how I love thee. R and I ended up sitting at the bar in front of the kitchen and ordered hot and sour soup and singapore street noodles... which were both excellent. Probably the soup was slightly better on the margin than the noodles, but a great meal nonetheless. I would give Red Lantern 8 out of 10 stars and promise to be back soon!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Is height (or lack thereof) a dealbreaker?
It's been a long time since I've actually felt something resembling "excitement" about any of these dates. But, several weeks ago, I started emailing with a "frog" that for reasons which may later become apparent, I'll call "Frodo." He seemed ideal: very smart, accomplished, funny, nice, etc...he had only posted two pictures, but he seemed attractive. It seemed like we had a lot in common and I was very much looking forward to getting to meet him in person.
Frodo suggested that we meet for drinks at *Mini *Bar (which is not at all/totally hilarious) last Thursday at 8pm. I donned a *short* dress and *low* gold heels and set off to meet him. As I walked into the bar, I looked around for someone who might resemble Frodo and spotted a likely candidate sitting on one of the couches. I walked over and he stood up and I was SIGNIFICANTLY taller than him. My Asian math brain immediately kicked in.... I am 5'2" or maybe 5'3" soaking wet + my heels (2"-3") - my towering over him (approx 2") - my thinking he was probably wearing lifts (1")... compute.... he is somewhere between 5'1" and 5'3"... there is no way he could be the 5'7" he indicated in his profile. OMG, I am on a date with a little person!
Now, I don't mean to denigrate short people in any way, clearly, I myself am short and am sensitive to the fact that it must be quite hard to be a shorter man. However, I am a big believer in being honest in these profiles so you don't waste people's time or set someone up for the cognitive dissonance that will occur when, as a logical progression, you meet them and reality does not match advertising. I also think that it is maybe okay on the margins to lie about an inch... but 4"-6"... that just strikes me as a less-than-ideal foundation on which to start a relationship.
But, I digress... Frodo asked if I wanted to go sit on the couches outside and desperately needing a drink, I agreed. We actually started out having a nice conversation, but then the topic of my job search came up and I mentioned that I was interviewing at a company in the midwest the following day. "No, you can't leave Boston. I won't let you." He repeated this six times throughout the night. Um, psycho much? As he left on a bathroom break, I quickly wikipedia'd the official definition of "dwarf"... phew. Apparently, one needs to be under 4'10" to qualify. Finally, I brought the date to an end and said I needed to call it early since I had an interview the following day.
Sure enough, the following morning, he sent me a long email asking me out for "thursday, friday or saturday" and making it creepily clear that he had somehow google or otherwise stalked me. And, then I had to put on my big girl pants and turn him down (I hate being mean). Did I say no simply because he was short? Am I a mean person? I think if he had been his actual height and hadn't lied or been overly aggressive/stalkerish, I actually would have been interested. I think there might be a lesson in there somewhere. Or something.
On another note, apparently, I have run through all normal sized, honest people in Boston, so maybe a job in NYC or SF would open up a whole new set of possibilities?
Frodo suggested that we meet for drinks at *Mini *Bar (which is not at all/totally hilarious) last Thursday at 8pm. I donned a *short* dress and *low* gold heels and set off to meet him. As I walked into the bar, I looked around for someone who might resemble Frodo and spotted a likely candidate sitting on one of the couches. I walked over and he stood up and I was SIGNIFICANTLY taller than him. My Asian math brain immediately kicked in.... I am 5'2" or maybe 5'3" soaking wet + my heels (2"-3") - my towering over him (approx 2") - my thinking he was probably wearing lifts (1")... compute.... he is somewhere between 5'1" and 5'3"... there is no way he could be the 5'7" he indicated in his profile. OMG, I am on a date with a little person!
Now, I don't mean to denigrate short people in any way, clearly, I myself am short and am sensitive to the fact that it must be quite hard to be a shorter man. However, I am a big believer in being honest in these profiles so you don't waste people's time or set someone up for the cognitive dissonance that will occur when, as a logical progression, you meet them and reality does not match advertising. I also think that it is maybe okay on the margins to lie about an inch... but 4"-6"... that just strikes me as a less-than-ideal foundation on which to start a relationship.
But, I digress... Frodo asked if I wanted to go sit on the couches outside and desperately needing a drink, I agreed. We actually started out having a nice conversation, but then the topic of my job search came up and I mentioned that I was interviewing at a company in the midwest the following day. "No, you can't leave Boston. I won't let you." He repeated this six times throughout the night. Um, psycho much? As he left on a bathroom break, I quickly wikipedia'd the official definition of "dwarf"... phew. Apparently, one needs to be under 4'10" to qualify. Finally, I brought the date to an end and said I needed to call it early since I had an interview the following day.
Sure enough, the following morning, he sent me a long email asking me out for "thursday, friday or saturday" and making it creepily clear that he had somehow google or otherwise stalked me. And, then I had to put on my big girl pants and turn him down (I hate being mean). Did I say no simply because he was short? Am I a mean person? I think if he had been his actual height and hadn't lied or been overly aggressive/stalkerish, I actually would have been interested. I think there might be a lesson in there somewhere. Or something.
On another note, apparently, I have run through all normal sized, honest people in Boston, so maybe a job in NYC or SF would open up a whole new set of possibilities?
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Favorite Things + Unfavorite Things
I apologize for the lengthy delay in posting. Apparently, looking for a job is the approximate equivalent of having a second job, so between actual work and faux work, I've been running around like a crazy person.
Anthony Gizelneck (sp?) once said: "If you spent half as much time reading books as you do chasing skanks, you might not have AIDS." If I spent half as much time doing deals as I do chasing new jobs, I might not have to look! :)
Without further ado, here are my favorite things from the past couple of weeks:
1) Rediscovering some oldies, but goodies...
Sometimes you forget how much you like certain things - summertime, the Olympics, the endless amount of crazy surrounding a presidential election - but then you remember and it's the best thing ever. I recently added a couple: NYC - hello darkness, my old friend, Market by Jean Georges and no-strings attached "relations" with an ex... :)
2) "Be kind, work hard and amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien from the 2011 Dartmouth commencement speech.
Perhaps because of my recent job situation and enjoyment of fratboy humor, I really appreciated what he had to say... Check it out:
Anthony Gizelneck (sp?) once said: "If you spent half as much time reading books as you do chasing skanks, you might not have AIDS." If I spent half as much time doing deals as I do chasing new jobs, I might not have to look! :)
Without further ado, here are my favorite things from the past couple of weeks:
1) Rediscovering some oldies, but goodies...
Sometimes you forget how much you like certain things - summertime, the Olympics, the endless amount of crazy surrounding a presidential election - but then you remember and it's the best thing ever. I recently added a couple: NYC - hello darkness, my old friend, Market by Jean Georges and no-strings attached "relations" with an ex... :)
2) "Be kind, work hard and amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien from the 2011 Dartmouth commencement speech.
Perhaps because of my recent job situation and enjoyment of fratboy humor, I really appreciated what he had to say... Check it out:
3) Liberty Wharf in Boston
Beautiful floor to ceiling glass windows that open out to the water, stronger than f*k margaritas, real sports bar and great food.... even if it leads to the realization that texting + margaritas + high heels = sprained ankle, it's worth it. I will be going back... often!
4) Brown!
Different from yellow (dim sum), B and I recently discovered a love of brown aka peking duck. After a false start at Hei La Moon, we went to New Jumbo last weekend and the brown was amazing. We just made dinner reservations at "the best hole in the wall in Chinatown" with the duck included (you have to order 24 hours in advance!)... will report back.
5) Interviewing
Initially, I was a bit nervous... after all, I hadn't interviewed for a new job in 6+ years. However, I quickly realized that it was a great excuse to talk about myself for hours on end and put *others* on the spot. I might be addicted!
6) Babies named after 90210 characters
Recently, two of my friends had babies named Dylan. In the span of two days, both babies pooped on me. Am I the new baby laxative? Minus the pooping, they were both legitimately adorable and no, I'm not lying, they do not look like trolls.
In memorium, "may the bridges I burn light the way." - Dylan McKay
7) Singing Adele's Rolling in the Deep at highest decibel in my car...
Bill Simmons, one of my favorite writers in the world, started this website featuring up and coming writers + guys like Chuck Klosterman
9) Mavs win the NBA Championships/Bruins win the Stanley Cup!
Now, I am not a Mavs fan, but I am a fan of anyone who takes down the classless juggernaut aka Dwyane Wade's Miami Heat + random German dudes with a slight hip hop twangs. Dirk, I'm sold, you are one bad Mf*r.
I am also not a hockey fan, but am happy for all of those true Bruins fans who have suffered through some lean years. A late entrant, but nonetheless, welcome to Boston sports dominance, Bruins!
In a semi-related note, please come back football.... we miss you more than words can say.
10) Bridesmaids... hilarious/must see! "hey f*k buddy...." "you are no longer my number 3"
11) Anything at my rooftop pool...
Unfavorite things from the past few weeks:
1) Hangover Part 2
I couldn't believe how unfunny this movie was. I think I laughed once. Also, Thailand is awesome and so are Asiatic people.
2) The Registry of Motor Vehicles
3) Douch-ey cops, you know who you are
4) Airplane acne
5) Pretending to still care about my job/awaiting my Oscar nomination
6) Ashley A-Bear, the self-esteem-less Bachelorette, thanks for ruining our show.
7) Mechanical delays resulting in an unexpected stay at an airport hotel/motel in Houston
8) Inability to resist pasta/bread
9) Not having enough time to post things in my blog!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
It's a jungle out there!!
My job search so far:
* 6 days of panic attacks
* 1 combo job offer/proposition from a newly separated ex-colleague
* 3 drunken flirty 11pm emails from an inebriated work colleague who promised to help me find a job... if I'd come meet him at Abe & Louie's
* 3 interview offers from the midwest: Detroit, Minneapolis or Denver, anyone?
* 1 interview potentially scheduled with the semi-famous owner of an NBA team
* Countless forms filled out on recruiter websites
* 1 call scheduled for Friday with my dream job in...BOSTON! (fingers crossed that he's hiring...)
* Many debts of gratitude owed to all my non-skeezy colleagues and friends who have listened to me blindly panic - yes, S, I am following the steps!
* 6 days of panic attacks
* 1 combo job offer/proposition from a newly separated ex-colleague
* 3 drunken flirty 11pm emails from an inebriated work colleague who promised to help me find a job... if I'd come meet him at Abe & Louie's
* 3 interview offers from the midwest: Detroit, Minneapolis or Denver, anyone?
* 1 interview potentially scheduled with the semi-famous owner of an NBA team
* Countless forms filled out on recruiter websites
* 1 call scheduled for Friday with my dream job in...BOSTON! (fingers crossed that he's hiring...)
* Many debts of gratitude owed to all my non-skeezy colleagues and friends who have listened to me blindly panic - yes, S, I am following the steps!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Inspirational thoughts on a Friday morning...
As you might be able to tell from my recent entries, my life has been pretty chaotic recently! A very awesome/sweet friend of mine sent me the following quotes to inspire me and it really meant a lot. I thought I'd share them in case anyone else was feeling a little down because of the three straight weeks of gray skies... Happy Friday everyone! (PS. the Gandhi quote is gourmet fo'sho'!)
life does not put things
in front of you
that you are unable to handle.
-unknown
life isn't about finding yourself.
life is about creating yourself.
-unknown
do not go where the path may lead.
go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail.
- ralph waldo emerson
the adventure of life is to learn.
the goal of life is to grow.
-arthur
what lies behind us and what lies before us
are small matters compared to what lies within us.
- ralph waldo emerson
every truly great accomplishment
is at first impossible.
- fortune cookie
be the change
you wish to see in the world...
- gandhi
you are master of your own fate,
the captain of your own soul.
- william ernest henley
the journey of a thousand miles
begins with one step.
- lao tzu
limitless like the ocean
are your excellent qualities
- the dalai lama
twenty years from now you will be more
disappointed by the things you didn't do
than by the ones you did.
so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor,
catch the trade winds in your sails.
explore. dream. discover.
-unknown
it is never too late to be
what you might have been.
- eliot
life does not put things
in front of you
that you are unable to handle.
-unknown
life isn't about finding yourself.
life is about creating yourself.
-unknown
do not go where the path may lead.
go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail.
- ralph waldo emerson
the adventure of life is to learn.
the goal of life is to grow.
-arthur
what lies behind us and what lies before us
are small matters compared to what lies within us.
- ralph waldo emerson
every truly great accomplishment
is at first impossible.
- fortune cookie
be the change
you wish to see in the world...
- gandhi
you are master of your own fate,
the captain of your own soul.
- william ernest henley
the journey of a thousand miles
begins with one step.
- lao tzu
limitless like the ocean
are your excellent qualities
- the dalai lama
twenty years from now you will be more
disappointed by the things you didn't do
than by the ones you did.
so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor,
catch the trade winds in your sails.
explore. dream. discover.
-unknown
it is never too late to be
what you might have been.
- eliot
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