Secret Museum Fetish

On Sunday afternoon, I met Frog #3 (boat dweller) for big trouble in little china - or as is more commonly known, dim sum.  I was impressed with his willingness to try anything and also that his favorite dishes - pork pillows and yellow -  were also mine (clearly great taste).  We vowed to come back and be even more adventurous, although I'm not sure anything will get me to try the chicken feet. 

After food, we headed over to the Museum of Fine Arts to check out the new American Art Wing.  As an aside, the new renovation looks great!  I love the central atrium with the chihuly (sp?) glass sculpture and cafe and some of the new paintings in the art wing are really cool.  I especially liked the Winslow Homer, landscapes and Gilbert Stuart/George Washington dollar bill painting. 

But, I digress.  What do I secretly love to do in museums?  Touch old, awesome stuff.  Before you get your panties in a bunch, I would NEVER touch a painting - just sculptures, statues, blocks of carvings, etc.  After we walked around for awhile, I shared my dirty fetish with Frog #3... even though I think he was secretly horrified, he still joined in and enjoyed the adrenaline rush of 1) completely breaking the rules and 2) touching old awesome stuff! 

We then headed over to the cafe to get some coffee/tea and talk... which we did for a couple hours.  He then walked me back to my apartment building and we stood awkwardly outside, completely sober in the daylight with other people around.  He hugged me and promised to call me and come up with a really cool plan (he even mentioned karaoke!) for us to hang out soon.  We've been texting since... so I'll keep you posted. 

Question for the KF readers:  since it was our third time spending time together, should I have kissed him?  or more leadingly touched him?  According to W & B, my flirting skills are super rusty....

Solas - where first dates end in marriage...

On Friday night, I was at dinner with B, W and J when I inserted my foot so far into my mouth that it might still have acid burns from my stomach.  I mentioned that I had an upcoming date on Saturday night with Frog #4 (met on the interweb; vital stats:  mid-30's, back bay dweller (hurray!), works at some sort of health care company, seemed nice, etc.).  Frog #4 had asked me to dinner and said that he had a certain restaurant in mind, so I told him to go ahead and book it.  However, I was really disappointed that he ended up choosing Atlantic Fish because it seemed kind of chain-y and corporate and maybe where you'd eat with your parents... and he also asked me to meet him for a drink at Solas beforehand. 

So I asked my friends, "oh my god - I can't believe he chose those places to take me to - why would anyone ask someone to meet them on a first date at Solas????"  Well, it turned out that J had taken W to Solas on their first date (and now they are married).  I was completely mortified and no amount of quick thinking could make my snotty statement any better!  Luckily, W and J have a great sense of humor and were not offended.  (I hope)  So, we decided that actually all first dates at Solas must end in marriage. 

With a newly inflated set of expectations, I went to Solas to meet Frog #4.  Thankfully, it seemed that his pictures were recent and he immediately struck me as being very nice and chill.  We ordered a couple drinks and ended up talking about disastrous mistakes that people can make on dates.  I mentioned dropping the L-Bomb too early on and he said "oh, so you think my plan of proposing to you tonight is too much?" 

We then headed over to Atlantic Fish where they took us to a creepy special downstairs room with bright lighting, four tables and a huge flatscreen.  I was a little taken aback that we weren't eating in the main dining room, but Frog #4 said "I planned it this way on purpose.  I wanted the flatscreen so you could see the video I made about my life so that you could get to know me before I proposed.  Who do you think the other people in the room are?"  I answered, "your family?" and he said "of course!"  Later in the meal, an Asian family (two parents and a son) walked in and he said "I also arranged for your family to join us." 

Even though he did not actually propose, we ended up having a great time.   He also texted me the next day, so hopefully we'll meet up again and I can keep you, the KF readers posted. 

Top 10 Signs you might need some detox

1) Yesterday, your meals were: drunkenly made Kraft mac 'n cheese, french fries and beer, philly cheesesteak and orange gatorade (hangover cure of champions)
2) Your memory of the last few weeks consists of: reality, drunken episodes and half-drunk dreams.... and you're not really sure which is which
3) Four drinks in a row, no buzz
4) You have renamed your apartment "Sober Valley Lodge"
5) Did we accidentally start smoking again?
6) You've become real good friends with every bartender on Boylston from Arlington to Mass Ave
7) "Bipolar?  Biwinning!" 
8) You've instituted nap time b/c you haven't gotten sober sleep in awhile
9) It might've taken you a good minute to button your jeans this morning
10) Your drunken/hangover tv watching has caused you to become *real* familiar with the Kardashians

Patti Stanger would not be happy...

So, last Thursday, I met Frog #3.... and had an instantaneous, irrational crush.  He was everything I usually go for - witty, smart, friendly, lots of quirky, so cute and potentially a little damaged.  Unfortunately, as noted, he also lives on a boat w/o indoor plumbing, might not be long for Boston and, as we learned yesterday, has an unofficial on/off relationship with a girl from Seattle. 

We met up yesterday at the Museum of Science and learned even more about the universe (!), while bonding over the fact that we both used to be super dorky and watch Star Trek The Next Generation when we were kids.  He then suggested that we go to Boston Beer Works where he proceeded to order me blueberry beer and fries with ranch dressing... I mean, I was officially smitten.  :)  Finally, we finished the night smoking cigars at Cigar Masters on Boylston Street.  We ended up hanging out for 6 hours and laughed and talked the entire time.  It was amazing. 

I watch a tv show called Millionaire Matchmaker, starring Patti Stanger as the Jewish matchmaker/BFF/taskmaster that we all wish we had telling us how it is.  When Patti goes to set up her clients, she always throws them a "test"... who epitomizes everything that her client used to go for, but shouldn't,  to see if they'll take the bait.

I think the "universe" might have sent me Frog #3 as a test.... if so, I might be in danger of an epic fail.  To be continued....

"Yet another successful interaction with a male!"

Date #2 with Frog #2
3 quotes that indicate you should run away:
1) "My therapist and I had a field day with that one"
2) "I guess I shouldn't tell you this, but.... I have some trust issues.  I just want to be upfront."
3) "Want to meet up at the Oak Room for a drink before dinner?"

+ thinly veiled anger and control issues.... = please pack your knives and go.  there are no more roses tonight.  you're fired. 

The Luck of the Asians?

I was at Mass Ave tonight and met a really hot guy (Frog #3)... who was super smart and funny and interesting... we went for a walk around the city and ended up at the Top of the Hub and then ate a late night snack at the two tops by the liquor section at Shaws.  Whereupon I found out some interesting facts: 1) he lives on a boat (with no shower - and let's face it, you all know how I feel about indoor plumbing), 2) He's 29 (seen this peter pan movie), 3) He's from Seattle and wants to live there again someday.  Smart money says run, but somehow I agreed to go out with him on Sunday to the planetarium. 
Sigh.  I have the worst ideas sometime. 
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!  (Thanks for driving all the snakes out of Ireland)

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

For someone who has so, so many stomach troubles, I sure do love to eat.  To me, exploring new restaurants is like going on a first date... you never know what you're gonna get.  Will it live up to advance hype?  Will it be exciting... or at least an interesting story?  Will it smell/taste good?  Maybe the service will improve, given time? 

This past week, I made it to two restaurants that I've been meaning to try for awhile, Menton and Citizen Public House & Oyster Bar.  On Friday night, S & I ventured over to the "Fort Point" neighborhood, or as I like to call it, the area where I get wasted at Drink and Lucky's.  Surprisingly, not sure if I could pick it out on a map.  I was very excited as the restaurant is run by Barbara Lynch of No. 9 Park and B&G Oyster fame... and also because I got to get all dressed up in a short, one-shouldered, eggplant-colored dress and heels.  Gotta love any excuse to pull out the heavy artillery.  We walked into the restaurant and it was very beautifully decorated - elegant, but warm at the same time.  As S said, the lounge looks like "what I would ideally want my apartment to look like."  Although we had to wait for a few minutes, we sat in the waiting area as they brought us free drinks - pinot noir for me, and possibly the fruitiest (though yummy) drink one could make and still include makers' mark for S.  After our drinks, they showed us to our table which was set back into the wall for privacy.  There were two menus - a four-course tasting menu ($95) and a seven-course tasting menu ($140).   After a litttle debate, we chose the seven course menu as we figured both "go big or go home" and didn't know when we'd find someone nice enough to give S a big gift certificate to Menton again.  Our courses were as follows:  Maine Rock Crab Salad, Diver Scallop, Cod (probably my favorite course), Foie Gras, Rabbit, Rib Eye and Chocolate Cake... followed by yummy macaroons + an amuse bouche and palate cleanser.  They really started off with a bang as the first four courses were amazing!  I was a little less partial to the rabbit and rib eye, but that could be b/c I was getting *real* full.  The dessert and macaroons were a solid ending to the night.  The service was impeccable - just the right level of attentive without being overbearing and the company was, as always, the best!  All in all, I give it 9.25 out of 10 stars.... probably only surpassed  in Boston by o ya. 

Here's S' take:

nine

i thought it was amazing

i loved the aesthtics of the place

i thought the service was superb

i think it is an excellent special occasion place but i also think it is nice for a small group of people to just enjoy nice food and be able to talk about it

everything was approachable

i also love the bathroom--lol

Then, on Saturday, I went to Citizen, a new gastropub behind Fenway (near Jerry Remy's)- owned by the people who run Franklin Street, with a friend of mine.  The decor was eurotrendy + pub... visually pleasing and cool, but the acoustics were sort of subpar (very noisy).  We sat at our table in the back of the restaurant and... waited and waited.  (Service = hella slow) But, when the waiter did come over to us, he was quite friendly and apologetic and brought us our menus.  The food menu had several choices which looked delish and the drink menu was insane (tons of mixed drinks + whisky drinks)  I decided to get meatballs as an appetizer (surprise!)  and the roast chicken, while my friend got oysters, mussels and bread pudding for dessert.  I thought my meal was very good - the meatballs were tasty and the chicken was very tender and moist... I also tried a bit of the bread pudding and, even though I am not a dessert person, I have to say it was super tasty.  I am looking forward to going back at some point - hopefully with a larger group to try the 10 person pig roast! 
7.75 stars out of ten

And, yes, I did go to the gym or yoga on saturday, sunday and monday!  

Sorry for the lack of posts, I was in sort of a "mean reds" mood/funk last week and have been slacking on the dating front.  I have a dinner date coming up with Frog #2.... and some other things in the mix to report on in the next couple weeks, fear not. 
Happy Tuesday, everyone! 

KF Favorite Things - Week #3

KF Favorite Things – Week #3

Oh, what a busy past couple weeks it has been!  Unfortunately, I have been delinquent in writing my Favorite Things, so hopefully, I can make up for it with a giant FT post.    Without further ado, here are a few of my favorite things from the past couple of weeks:

1.       Adult Spring Break aka Retox 2011

B ,M and I headed down to sunny Florida to catch some much needed rays and warm weather and to drink many fruity drinks.   At our first bar, we discovered a drink that we’d long heard tell of, but never seen in real life:  Firefly Sweet Tea vodka – a vodka so delicious that we couldn’t taste the alcohol.  Mix with some lemonade and voila… a delicious John Daly.   Yummy!

Fort Lauderdale is an interesting juxtaposition of unbelievable waterfront mansions and yachts, white trash strip malls and teenage spring break.  So, trying to find some watering holes suitable for 30-something Bostonians could be quite difficult.  However, our good friends at US Airways magazine recommended the new W hotel on the beach.   We made dinner reservations for Steak 954, the W’s “new, hip” restaurant and were pleasantly surprised.   The entrees and sides were expertly prepared and appropriately priced, and the clientele were upscale and attractive. 

Our consensus was: 7.5 out of 10 stars (minus 1.0 point for the disgusting jellyfish tank)

After dinner, we checked out Whiskey Blue and the upstairs Living Room lounge.  All in all, pretty much what you’d expect from a W – modern, stylish décor, out of towners looking for a good time, GREAT throwback (late 80’s/early 90’s) music. 

The next day we took a water taxi on the Intercoastal – definitely an activity I would recommend for Fort Lauderdale first timers… it’s a relatively inexpensive way to check out the city and see the beautiful mansions and boats – getting off at each stop where bars seemed near.  The people watching (read: National Geographic study of the modern white trash culture) was priceless.  Although, after exchanging high fives with a few too many shirtless 20-somethings,  we sought refuge in the comfort of the Ritz where we returned to civilization after a few blackberry margaritas.

 After some discussion, the bartender directed us to Fort Lauderdale’s version of the Cougar Triangle.  Thick with the glow of Botox in the evening, YOLO (“you only live once”) was crawling with people from 25 to 90 looking to get their hook-up on.  P to the S, ladies of Fort Lauderdale, implants should be a tasteful ONE full cup above your natural size and no, white jeans are not the thing.  All kidding aside, it seemed like everyone was having a good time. 

2.       Oscar parties with girlfriends + my unfortunate discovery that watching TV on a sofa bed with the bed extended is well, kind of unbeatable

For our last night in Florida, we decided to get our Whole Foods on, make dinner and watch the Oscars aka make fun of people on the Red Carpet/slam overly arty movies.   After stuffing ourselves full of spaghetti alla gricia + all of the rigorous retoxing, we decided to pull out the sofa bed and watch the broadcast.  Thank God I do not have a sofa bed or I would never ever leave my apartment again.  Oh my, it was heavenly!! 

 A few quick thoughts on the Oscars:

·         Amy Adams’ outfit – epic fail!!!  It is what her character from the Fighter would have worn to the Oscars

·         My, that Anne Hathaway sure is cheerful

·         Lena Horne, really????

·         King’s Speech winning all the awards thumbs down… I mean, I get that the acting was good, but I have to say, the movie was sort of a snooze.  Also, when Colin Firth (who I normally love) stammered, I kind of wanted to punch him in the face so he’d talk faster.  Although, my friend S said “perhaps this is not the best movie for someone with acute undiagnosed ADD to watch”

·         Overall, M’s feedback:  “I am surprised by how bad all of the dresses have been”

3.       The way you feel when a guy you’re crushing on touches your arm during a first date….

4.       Dorkapalooza

So, I attended the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics conference this weekend.  It was crawling with eligible males!  Unfortunately, the ones I met were either from Colorado, Georgia or married.  However, I did get to briefly meet my idol, Bill Simmons, the Sportsguy and see Mark Cuban, Jeff van Gundy, Eric Mangini and the owners of the Boston Celtics to name a very few.   If you are a sports fan, this is one of the coolest experiences you can have, I highly recommend it!!!

5.       Learning!!!

S, K and I went to the newly revamped Hayden planetarium and learned the following:

·         Exoplanets probably look like fried eggs or… Mordor

·         We are insignificant in the overall scheme of things

·         If aliens make it to earth, then we will all be anally probed and dissected… and, they might be made of flames

·         Pluto’s demotion is official….farewell, old friend

·         Astronaut ice cream + pop rocks + margaritas + Mexican food = sad stomach

And… that’s all!  Have a wonderful Monday, KF readers.  I hope to have fun updates throughout the week!  J

Frog II, The Sequel, The Redux

So, I went out with Frog #2 last night.  He wanted to meet up at Via Matta, but it was closed, so he last minute audibled to Davios... which I thought was a good location.  My first impression was... wow, those match.com pictures were taken several years ago!  Definite flight/lemon law response.  But as we had a couple of drinks and I settled in, I started to actually like him.  He seemed really nice, articulate, easy to talk to, smart, successful, interesting, etc.  I still can't figure out if I'm sold yet... He sent me a text after the date wanting to go out again... but I don't know!  I think I'm losing motivation to date.  What should I do, KF readers??

PS.  Update on Frog #1, we have been texting, etc... I will keep you posted.  :)

Dating Do's and Dont's from two Boston bachelors

Take with a shaker full of salt....


Q:  What is the worst thing a girl can do on a date?
A:   The worst thing is misleading touching - when a girl touches a guy (other than accidentally), he automatically thinks she wants to sleep with him.  But, not all girls know this, so sometimes girls will touch a guy when they have no interest and act offended when the guy becomes more aggressive.  Other answers include: Go through her marriage checklist during conversation ("what do you do? what religion are you?  do you want kids?"), be ugly, cry, urinate in front of (??????), throw up/not handle liquor well.

Q: What is the best thing a girl can do on a date?
A:  Be hot. 

Q:  What should a girl wear on a first date?
A:  "Anything that exposes her v***** to the wind!"  (???? - we think this means skirt or dress)
      "Wear something that accentuates your best assets without being vulgar."
       "Don't wear tights."

Q:  What is the best venue for a first date?
A:   "A high two top near a bar... not at a bar so the girl has more space and feels comfortable.... so there's room to manuever.  Some restaurants - Sel de la terre, Lucca, Island Creek Oyster Bar." 

Q:  Is there anything a girl should or shouldn't order?
A:  "Don't order anything fruity."  "A martini straight up or a nice glass of wine."  "Don't be too dainty with food."  "Vegetarians and people with weird food restrictions are bad."  Also, apparently, if you order what he's having, that indicates future submissiveness. 

Other general observations:
*If he doesn't call/email or text after 3 days, he's not interested
*If HE touches you, then it's an unequivocal sex invitation
*A hug is a nice way to start a date
*Sleeping with a guy on the first date is probably not the best idea. 

Secret Typing Behavior

If you had to pick one key on your keyboard that represented all the neuroses people feel in the beginning of a relationship, what would it be?  The kneejerk reaction might be "?" or maybe "!", sometimes "$"... but for me, it's got to be the "F9" key.  After you send an email out to a new prospect, the whole gamut of emotions is in play - happiness, nerves, ohmygoodness, I wish this keyboard came with a recall email button... but most of all, you just want a response.  And that's where "F9" comes into play.  When you press F9, your email automatically refreshes, reaching out into the ether and grabbing any incoming messages.  Time seems interminable as you wait for a response, and press F9 over and over and over again.  Or so I've heard.  I mean, I myself would never engage in such neurotic behavior. 

Drunken date post....

Well, I think it went well... we met up at Eastern Standard for a couple drinks and then to Island Creek Oyster Bar for food and additional drinks.  I definitely got a flirty vibe, but we'll see....
As far as impressions, top 5 descriptors for Frog #1:
1) interesting
2) intelligent
3) nice guy
4) very similar to me w/o the hard edge
5) funny

slightly promising, but potentially friend vibe????